Whatever...

This is what the website says...who knows?

You are a Social Liberal (75% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (10% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Rahma and Raheema

today i attended the birth of a friend's twins today. i wasn't actually allowed in the delivery room. it was a c-sec, in fact they told me i wouldn't be allowed in recovery either, in fact, they said i should leave the hospital and come back in three hours and MAYBE i could see her. unbelievable. two hours later momma called me from recovery and told me to come and find her that she needed help latching on the baby, etc. all in all, it wasn't so bad but i wonder why anyone in their right mind would choose a hospital birth. it's such a rotten place to have a baby and become a family.

when i was waiting in triage with the momma, another momma came in. there was only a thin piece of material separating us and we could hear everything. the nurse asked her a question and it was clear that the woman didn't speak english. the nurse proceeded to tell her that she needed to speak english if she wanted to be in this country and THEN asked her to move over on the cot and when she didn't she told her that she'd just have to move her and it'll hurt because she didn't understand english. yikes. i couldn't believe it. this is one of the most diverse hospitals and parts of the country. what was this nurse thinking?

A Poem by Me

Circumstance

He stands at the top of the stairs
Beckoned by her call to do this one thing
He does
He wants and she says oh, no
See it's not the right time or the right place and
It's me, honey
Don't worry all's well don't look too closely
To know that
It's more than time and location
The truth hurts
The veil covering her face is thin
She sees clearly while
It shelters her from harm
She's invisible and free
But alone

By me

Moving to Buffalo

On Friday, Paul excepted a job offer in Lancaster, NY. He quit his job at the EPA. He is starting work in Bflo on Jan 9th. I'm excited and shocked that I'm leaving northern virginia to move back north to Bflo. My feelings fluxuate from sheer happiness, God knows we need a change, to nervous anxiety. This has been a trying year on our family. It will be so nice to start fresh. I'm looking forward to being near family and NOT just my immediate family, though my parents aren't getting any younger, but all my cousins and second cousins and aunts and uncles. I haven't lived within a days drive of any family members in nearly 20 years. It's exciting and daunting.

Now we must go about the process of moving. Paul will start work in January and I'll be single-moming it here for a few months. Initially, I though it best to simply finish the school year and then move until I realized that the elementary schools were K-4 schools, which meant Erin, my middle child who just stopped crying at school, would be on her own next year with big sister Rachel in Middle School. I'm quite nervous about the school situation. We're leaving such a great school system and the best elementary school in the country and I'm not sure what we're in for in Western NY.

RealAge

Oh, boy. And I thought I was doing alright...I took the realage test on www.realage.com and found out my real age is 48. ugh. It was rather depressing.
What am I doing wrong? Not eating enough fruits and vegetables. Not taking vitamins. Driving too much with a cell phone. Only flossing 3 times per week. Not exercising enough. No strength training.
Don't take this test if you're not perfect! It will ruin your day.

A Poison Tree

by William Blake

I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears
Night and morning with my tears,
And I sunned it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright,
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,--
And into my garden stole
When the night had veiled the pole;
In the morning, glad, I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.

I was betrayed by a false friend. Each day I remember further her steely, evil words that I once found so, influential and thought true. She ensnared me and took my secrets, my inner thoughts and used them against me. May she rot in hell.

Panabaj

Paul and I lived in the small hamlet next to Santiago Atitlan, Guatemala that is now covered with mud. It's hard to imagine that our home is under a quagmire of mud. We were the first Peace Corps volunteers in this area devastated by civil war. In fact, the massacre that spawned the town from banning ANY and ALL military happened the year prior to us starting our volunteerism in that area. I'd walk by the massacre site every day. Now they won't let the military respond with aid. These people were murdered by their own milatary, I don't blame them.

Our neighbors lived in a home with walls made of corn stalks. They cooked on an open fire and had dirt floors. They owned 3 cows and they all worked in other peoples fields. They had nothing except each other. Diego and Deloras had 11 children. The oldest daughter had a son the same age as Deloras' younges son and they had the same name--Franciso and Francisco. I would go over each night and sit and gossip with them around the fire. I'd tell them stores of Los Estados.

I don't want to think of them suffering from the effects of a devistating mudslide. My heart is broken.

Downward Dog

Downward Dog can be the most painful pose. It can be filled with stress and tension. There are times when holding that pose will pull and require all of your inner strength. But, at other times it is a healing and a resting pose. I love that quality of yoga.

Cleaning Bathrooms in the Yoga Studio

Kim and I worked for a yoga studio near our home. We knew the enormous benefits of practicing yoga to nurture ourselves as mothers. Looking back, we didn't know how important it would be to our future too. We've each had a kid or two since that time, and we thought we were stressed and didn't have time for ourselves then. We hadn't even started our business or working downtown. I don't think we appreciated the time we had.
The studio had a work-study program and you could either commit to working the desk for a couple of hours each week at a specific time or you could clean the studio space every other week. Wepreferred the flexibility of the cleaning since we never knew if we could commit to a specific time each week, it was all we could do to make it to the yoga class each week.
We found comfort in knowing we COULD be home with a sick child and not have to find a substitute to fill a time slot.
The cleaning job entailed vacuuming, the entire studio was carpeted, there was LOTS of vacuuming. We arranged mats and blocks, dusted and we cleaned four lovely half baths throughout the yoga studio. There were 3 different yoga studios and a nice reception area and retail space. It was certainly a place of peace and tranquility. The bathrooms were nicely decorated with beautiful artwork.
We had to scrub toilets so we could gain the benefits of a yoga class because we couldn't afford the classes. It was a lesson in humility and a challenge to be in the moment.