New Year

I haven't been motivated to write anything. I just felt that I wanted to breathe and not define anything with words. I went from finishing radiation to the excitement of christmas and the new year. When I wasn't busy with everyday life I wanted to breathe. I did write a new year letter to everyone but didn't send it. I still have gifts to send. I will.

Here's a copy of the letter I wrote...

Happy 2007!!!

Here’s an update from the H-C’s. This new year we celebrate the new house, the new schools, the new friends and the new Barb. But, like the song says, “Make new friends but keep the old…”, how grateful we are to our “old” friends, our family and all the angels that have come into our lives this year.

Rachel is on the Amherst U11 girl’s Travel Team for soccer. This is exciting. She is practicing all winter at a couple of indoor arenas (remember we’re in Buffalo) in preparation for the spring tournaments. She danced in the Nutcracker at the Center for the Arts at UB under the direction of Maris Battaglia, the woman who owns the studio where she takes ballet classes 3 days/week. She likes the new studio but will always have a place in her heart for the Reston Conservatory. She’s playing the flute and was asked to try out for the All County Band in January. She’s doing wonderfully in school and making friends and next year she’ll be attending Amherst Middle School. Wow.

Erin has had a smooth transition to the new school. She is in a wonderful class with a super teacher. She’s made some good friends and had a slumber party for her eighth birthday in December. She played soccer in the fall and looks forward to spring soccer too. She loves school and is doing great in all her subjects. She loves to play on the computer and got Nintendo DS for Christmas. She takes care of Stella and loves to take her for walks in our backyard and she keeps track of the wildlife that stops by our creek. She is happy and has hit her stride in all ways.

Celia is the life of the party as always. She goes to preschool 3 days/week at Audobon and has made some friends at school. She started taking ballet classes and loves it. She’s quite good and her teacher seems to enjoy her presence in the class. She also likes to visit Papu (my dad) on a regular basis, now that he’s retired. He has watched her quite a few times while I’ve visited my team of doctors and they’ve developed a very special relationship. We have just started to have fun during the day, now that I’m done with treatment and we look forward to visiting all the kid stops; museums, parks, and playplaces in 2007. She’s turning 4 on Jan. 13th.

Paul is happy in his changing role from primary caregiver for his ill wife and 3 children to environmental engineer at Ecology & Environment. He has some interesting projects he’s working on in various locations around the world. He took the Professional Engineer’s exam and is waiting for the results. He is looking forward to getting the canoe in the various creeks in Western New York in the New Year. And we’ve started some projects on the new house. He’s working on making the house more energy efficient now that we live in the “north country”. We continue to grow in love for one another. We’ve shared many adventures in the 16 years we’ve been together.

I am doing well. I’ve finished my daily trips to Roswell Cancer Center for radiation treatments. My hair is coming back after the effects of chemo. My energy level is returning and I’m so happy it’s 2007. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on March 31, 2006. That day was the beginning of the fight for my life, though I didn’t know it at the time. I could never imagine the journey that cancer would allow me to take. I’m changed. The girls (Rachel, Erin) and I went to Dreamgirls and loved it. In many ways I’m like Effie because I’m changing… “Look at me, Look at me. I am changing, trying every way I can. I am changing, I’ll be better than I am.” Cancer has changed me. I live every minute, every day differently. I only do things that make me better, that make my family better. I think differently and do things differently. I started doing the things that I love everyday because every day is a gift. I belong to a studio and spend time thinking about clay and throwing it on the wheel. I love it and it brings me joy. I have some other projects planned for next year and they are all exciting endeavors that will be about living stong! Livestrong. It is a message that took cancer for me to really understand. How grateful I am to be here now wishing you all a glorious New Year full of wonder and strength. I am so thankful that I am here, able to be spending time and visit with my very wonderful family—Mom, Dad, Meg, Hannah, Quinn, Barb, Dan, Gus, Rita, Mary Jane, Scott, Sarah, Nate and all the rest of my very large and loving family. I’m grateful for all of my family, new friends, and “old” friends. Thank you for all that you’ve done for me.

I’ll end with my prayer that you livestrong, as in the words of the Lance Armstong Foundation’s manifesto.

We believe in life.
Your life.
We believe in living every minute of it with every ounce of your being.
And that you must not let cancer take control of it.
We believe in energy: channeled and fierce.
We believe in focus: getting smart and living strong.
Unity is strength. Knowledge is power. Attitude is everything.

With Love and Joy and Peace,


Barb
for
the Family
Paul, Barb, Rachel, Erin and Celia