Thanks be to God

I'm rather melancholic today. Seems as though I've woke up from a dream, a nightmare but I have that lingering sadness or fear from a night of fowl dreams. I'm sure it will subside but I want to acknowledge it.

We went to church yesterday for the first time in a while. We felt obligated since Erin will be celebrating her First Penance in a few weeks. We've been sending the kids off to Religious Education but not attending mass. Yes, we're catholic. This is how it happened. I was brought up by hippies and had no formal religious teaching though we did attend a Presbyterian church for a short time when I was in elementary school. I then attended church with a friend's family in high school. I was drawn to learning about religion and spirituality. I was even voted "most philosophical" in high school, whatever that means. When I went to college I became a Buddhist. I chanted nam myoho renge kyo and subscribed to the devotion of the mystic law of cause and effect. But, there was a disconnect for me because the religion was tied up in the culture of Japanese Buddhism. I couldn't completely relate. I married Paul, a professed atheist brought up in a catholic family. We were married by a JOP and didn't think much about religion until we were in the Peace Corps and surrounded by a surreal mix of Catholicism and Mayan tradition. It was amazing. We started attending church and I became connected to Catholicism from a religious and cultural stand point. My peops were Irish Catholic. And then we went to Esquipulus a small town on the Guatemala and El Salvador border. The town's church has the statue Jesus Negro or the Black Jesus. It is a statue known for granting miracles. We watched as people crawled on their knees from the town's border to the church. It was an incredible spectacle. And it was there in that church that both Paul and I had a palpable sense of God. A month later I became pregnant with Rachel and during my pregnancy I attended RCIA (Roman Catholic Initiation for Adults) classes with Father Tito in Norwich, CT. Father Tito was an amazing man and true saint. Paul and I were remarried in the church and all our children have been given Catholicism as their base for spirituality. I know that many people have problems with "the church" and there are times when I do too but the fundamental teachings are profound and resonate with me. I continue to connect with the energies and teachings of other spiritual leaders and religions but am Catholic. Don't be frightened. I'm still a HathaMama. I still meditate each day in an effort to quiet the mind. I do yoga and believe in power of chanting Om and I bow to you with respect--Namaste.