On March 31st, one year ago, Dr. Eisner called me and said, "I'm sorry but you have cancer". This picture is a of the note I wrote while on the phone with him. Just the facts. Now, one year later, I'm left with the scars from surgery and the scars from the ver intence emotional injury that I endured in an effort to be treated for cancer.
I just can't shake it off my back yet. It's still such a presence in my life.
It feels similar to how I felt when I returned from the Peace Corps after 2.25 years in Guatemala. The culture shock of entering into the first world again. I find it hard to enter into light conversations. I just want to be alone, pull the covers over my head and sleep. However, I'm not doing that. Instead, I'm taking on new jobs and projects that I'm excited by hoping that it will help shake the cancer off me.
On the anniversary of my diagnosis I cried. I wept. I couldn't stop. Paul held me and I cried, really cried for the first time in months.
I will be fine and so will you all. We need to just get on with the business of living and stop preparing to die.
1 comment:
I do remember when you got the diagnosis. I'm sure I said something stupid as people do when they don't know what to say. You are an amazing woman and friend. Have I told you how lucky I feel to be your friend? I am.
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