Meditating

There is a darkness each day. What some may call evil in their feeble attempts to just "be good", be a "non-sinner", or be perfect. This is horrible misinformation. I think the universe likes you to just pick up the subtle moments of darkness each moment and if you don't take these moment to just be, sit and breathe it in...whatever darkness there is right now--now is night...the rug will be pulled from under you and you will be forced to sit by watching your feet get lifted and your ass be smashed down so you can stop. Stop and see. See the shortness in your voice when you want to be left alone rather then meet someone else's needs, see the pain and fear of someday losing a loved one, see the goodbyes and heartbreak, the lies, the inability to ever be completely free of ego, the mistreatment of our planet...see it all. Be quiet, sit and be....to be able to see.

The Dark

The moon is about to say no to the sun. Waning and letting go of the light, the brightness the sun. There are dark days.

Hatha Mama is having a hard time reconciling the darkness that can come to those who attempt to live in the light. A sweet friend...who is just filled with joy and light...is being blamed for her boyfriend's suicide on Tue because she was the last person to talk to him and they had an argument.

I find this act so dark and desperate and cowardly. I am filled with anger and confusion and am finding it hard to be compassionate for this man. The imagery and symbolism surrounding the act also fills me with horror. He hung himself in his backyard on the willow tree that had fallen over. His 15 year old son found him. I know that this may be too much to take...to even read the words. It's just awful. But, it is. Lean into the point, feel the horror. There is darkness in this life and in this world and in me and you. We must own our shadow, be with it and show loving kindness to all things and all people. And this is the hard part...to be open and present to it all.

I am saddened to the core.

Random stuff

Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase 'each other' doesn't make any sense.
--Rumi


I just love this quote.

My life is perfect right now.

There are some people that I wish I could spend more time with. Betsy, Scott, Donna, Kay, Kathy, Nancy, Maureen, Kim, Mary, Aunt Barb, Aunt Kathy, Aunt Patty, Kim O, Christina, Nikia,... Do you all know that I love you?

I did Shambhala Level III recently.

Gently raise your gaze
See me
This world, this moment
Take it ALL in

Here's what I'm working on...
Seeing each of the children as perfect at least once each day. Perfect JUST as they are. Not easy.

Just for fun...here are words to describe each girl...
R-kind, loving, perceptive
G-smart, funny, leader
E-smart, responsible, funny
J-sweet, silly, creative
C-Joyful, athletic, intuitive