The moon is about to say no to the sun. Waning and letting go of the light, the brightness the sun. There are dark days.
Hatha Mama is having a hard time reconciling the darkness that can come to those who attempt to live in the light. A sweet friend...who is just filled with joy and light...is being blamed for her boyfriend's suicide on Tue because she was the last person to talk to him and they had an argument.
I find this act so dark and desperate and cowardly. I am filled with anger and confusion and am finding it hard to be compassionate for this man. The imagery and symbolism surrounding the act also fills me with horror. He hung himself in his backyard on the willow tree that had fallen over. His 15 year old son found him. I know that this may be too much to take...to even read the words. It's just awful. But, it is. Lean into the point, feel the horror. There is darkness in this life and in this world and in me and you. We must own our shadow, be with it and show loving kindness to all things and all people. And this is the hard part...to be open and present to it all.
I am saddened to the core.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
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1 comment:
I used to contemplate suicide on a pretty regular basis. I am glad that I haven't felt that way in a long long time.
I feel fear and sadness and grief and joy. But now I am able to feel these things without such a feeling of dreadful despair. Right now I am sad much of the time. The sunshine helps immensely.
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