Snowing in Buffalo

I've been busy doing other things...rather than blogging. And that's good. However, I do enjoy the quiet lazy dayz that involve showering late, reading, meditating, wearing my robe late into the day, and thinking or not thinking about what I want to say, dream and bring into my life. Renumerate. After a yoga class this morning I had "that" afternoon...and so now I sit, showered and clean after a lazy afternoon.

Back from vacation. We went to Southern California...enjoyed Santa Barbara, hiking and even saw the lunar eclipse while laying in a king sized bed in a beautiful cabin in the woods; we watched the moon arc and change through the window in the eves. Wow. It was magical. We all enjoyed ourselves, however, Paul may have had the best time of all. That man needed a vacation.

We visited our dear friends and it was good to connect. Give hugs and be reminded that we all love one another. Celia didn't remember them much and it was good for her to re-meet the 5 kids. I needed to see and be with my friend. She is my sister, my chosen sister. She has known me for over 10 years, we've been through much. She reminds me of who I am, who I was and who I will be. I love her and her family.

I came home and spent two days in bed. I was sick. I got a cold and couldn't keep going. I had to stop. I'm feeling better now. I feel cleansed.

I went to look at some property for the birth center in Buffalo today. It's a nice space. A 5000+/- sq ft Victorian Home in the Elmwood district. Gorgeous. I have many suggestions and ideas and thoughts. However, this is not MY space. This is clear. I hope to support these 3 women in their efforts at the level that they've opened up to me. I see some organizational issues, there is not a lot of experience among the group. There is an organizational vacuum and I know how to fill it with the skills and effort that it will take but I can't take on that WHOLE job. Not now...I don't need this experience. When they offered me the VP position on the board one of the guys (the midwife's hubby) said, "It'll look good on your resume.". Dang, I don't need anything like this on my resume...my resume is filled with positions like this. I need to work...not as a volunteer...but to make money to support my family. I've done enough volunteer work in my life. It is a struggle though...to do as little as possible to bring me out of balance. And let's be honest...when you're after a buck it's hard to stay balanced. Yoga is good but it doesn't pay the bills.

I feel melancholic today. I have to get a bone scan on Friday. I've had some pain in my ribs in the area that I had radiated. My friend with stage 4 colon cancer has had lots of radiation and she thinks it might be pain from radiation...but it's been there for 6 months... and it's getting worse. Now, it could be the fact that I've had a cold and been coughing. The radiation compromises the bone and I may have broken an already sore rib, maybe. Or it could be nothing. Or it could be metastatic breast cancer that has spread to my bones. Anyway, I have to have a bone scan and another x-ray of my ribs. Yes, this is still a thing in my life. There were these "bad" cells and they cut them out and scorched and burned me to make sure they were all gone... but they still spend a lot of time looking out for a stray nasty cell. This cancer thing is like my diving bell...me, I want to be dreaming of butterflies and spring mornings.

Om tare tuttare ture svaha

Turn off the TV.
Images are powerful,
No massacres, or blood pumping sliced arteries for me.
Chanting the ancient sanskrit words to virgin ears,
It connects with something, with God.
Do you hear it?
It's dim at first and then you start hearing the truth.
What is real.
And you can't help but become intune
At that frequency where lies
You, your connection with the all,
The divine.
Getting closer, bringing the
Thing into your life that you need,
God in the form of
your Journey.
Oh, Joy in each precious moment,
only then,
we've only this breath,
this breath.

I finished my first workshop of Prenatal Yoga classes last night. It was wonderful. Many women will continue...others are going on to have their baby's. Hopefully with a small connection/a glimps of a vibration that they will summon again, when they're stripped of the unreal during the intensity, the surge of birth. That's all...oh, simple, pathetic, trembling me, who has nothing. With courage and in a stupor I strip it down and attempt to bring you to a place I only sometime glimpse. Indeed, it is the experience of yoga that helps me...this is work? Crazy.

I taught the beginner class yesterday too. I taught the inversion. They were beautiful exploring space, challenging themselves. I'll teach the big kids on Sat and I have a fun filled 1 1/2 hours planned! Oh, joy.

Check out this Green Tara Chant on mp3.

http://www.wildmind.org/mantras/figures/greentara

Sorry, I can't link to it...somethin's up with my 'puter or blogger. I'll try later

Yes we can

I voted for Barack Obama. In Hillary's state I want it known that Barack Obama took the majority of the vote in Buffalo and western NY. A depressed part of the country that has been neglected by most including Hillary who promised much and provided little except just enough support and change to get elected. Her ambition, her motivation.

I want Barack Obama to be our next President. I want to change our need for NOT CHANGING. We don't need to be at the mercy of the few, the rich, the powerful. We are ONE! Yes we can.

What tha'

I want to retract my last post's statement the Hillary is "the Man". Hillary is a woman. On the trail recently she was giving a speech and there was a persistent heckler, screaming, "Iron my shirt!" "Iron my shirt!" "Iron my shirt". She paused and said calmly, "This is another reason why it's time for me to be president.". As I said earlier, I do believe that she will be president and I'm glad. Why didn't we hear anything in the news about THIS! I want to believe that if there was an idiot screaming "Pick my cotton" at Barack Obama it would infuriate and appall the public. Am I naive? I don't know. As a woman who works with women and been witness to the persistent degrading of a woman's innate power through birth, baby's cut from their mothers, ripping families from the power of birth by a corrupt and disillusioned medical system, I can tell you that we're not moving forward in our respect for women.

Anyway, we're about to have a change, a shakedown. Is Hillary's presidency always going to be a "woman thing"? Will she constantly be proving herself at each turn? If it's Barack will it be a "black thing"? Either way it will be interesting.