Training the Yogini

Saraswati the Goddess of
Creativity, Language.
Protect this thing that I’ve
Cultivated, Learned

This thing so precious, so fragile
The connection to the divine through
Art, Music, Words and Clay
You’ve taught me, the mother
Who wouldn’t choose an
Earth Mother name
Concepts, Love
That are the essence of
Being a householder.

With joy I make my house a home.

This weekend was the EIGHTH weekend of my yoga teacher training. I have two more weekends left, including the graduation weekend. This was a tough weekend. The magic is gone and now it's just grinding through. We are very busy, practicing and doing and getting things done. There is lots of reading and writing and practicing yoga. And I just want to sleep and dream and meditate and get to know my mantra, play with it. I guess there will be time for that.

The teacher training this weekend focused on restorative/gentle yoga, teaching kids, relaxation techniques and the final asanas of the series of asanas that we are using... loosely based on Sivananda but a little more flowy and feminine/receptive. During the restorative part I was reminded of my yoga practice during cancer treatment. Last year at this time I was dealing with third degree burns from radiation. I've come a long way in a year but still I can be brought right back to some of the trauma. I was telling my class about my experiences with yoga at Gilda's Club. I was bald and I would take off my head wrap during yoga and be bald. It was a bold move because I didn't go bald in public at all except during yoga. During relaxation my yoga teacher put her hands under my neck and did a nice pull and massaged my bald head and I remember the tears and the emotions from that sweet gesture. I love yoga and being in the NOW but want to find the balance between the now and healing from the effects of my past.