Thursday, January 10, 2008

just stuff

Tomorrow afternoon I visit my oncologist for my friendly 4 month visit. I had a chest x-ray on Monday to make sure there isn't anything in the bones, Doc will let me know how it looks tomorrow. My last mammogram was clean.

I have had lots of signs of stress leading up to the damn appointment. Tension and pain up and down my left side. Of course, I immediately think it's cancer. Had a massage and went to the chiropractor and it seems better but ugh, I want tomorrow to be over.

I'm embarrassed that I have such a hard time getting to the doctors when, for the most part, I've had very good news each time. But, I'm post traumatic stress sister and nearly need adivan to walk in the door. Will this end?

My Luna Yoga class is going well. I teach on Wed mornings and have had a small group show up each class. It's terrifying and wonderful. The owner of the studio came to my last class and gave me excellent feedback. It feels good.

This weekend is Celia's 5th birthday. My baby! I can't believe it.

3 comments:

Nancy said...

Happy Birthday Barb and Celia. I believe that no matter how many children you have, you are born anew with each birthing.

L.P. Cells said...

You are certainly not alone in the oncology world, so don't bother feeling in any way weird or unusual. I bet it will go away also. Your growing and healing in so many ways, so quickly you'll wake up some day and realize these fears were all transformed into mercy, compassion and understanding.

I sure hope you get to laugh and sing and party like a 5 year old!

Barb said...

I love you all said surrounded with little girl pink squeels of joy...real joy. Not the joy of days long ago or hopes for joy in an uncertain future but true and real joy. Ananda.